Past Relationships, Current Circumstances and Insanity.

Just spent a long day at work. I really dislike 1-10pm shifts. It feels like it takes up your whole day and in a lot of ways, it's does, especially if you want to sleep in. Work is stressful at the moment because we are having a corporate visit on Thursday and we have to make the store picture perfect.

Anyways, enough about work, lets talk about something else. I've been thinking alot about where I am in my life and wondering if I'm behind where I should be. Considering that I'm 27 years old, have no degree, no career and feel like I have the maturity of an 18 year old, it feels that I'm behind in my life. I thought things would really work out for me after my mission, but instead it's been a slow process. It's been extremely slow in the dating department. It wasn't always that way. There was a time I was dating two or three girls at a time and things were working out. I was thinking today that there have been 3 girls in my life that I could have married and at time, seriously considered it. The first was Megan, followed by Sarah and finally Whitney. They were all great in their own unique ways. I didn't see it at the time, but hindsight is always 20/20 and I clearly see now that I didn't deserve them. They are all married now and I'm left alone with no one. It's funny how life plays out. It makes me wonder if those were my three chances at getting married and because of my unwillingness to let certain things go and not be so picky. I broke up with all three of them cause I thought I could do better, but they are ultimately having the last laugh at my expense (not that they ever would cause they are much better than that). I'm grateful for all that I learned from the experiences, but the current circumstances I find myself in are a little hard to take. I don't know why it bothers me so bad. I guess I just didn't see myself where I am now. I always thought I would at least be married by 25. Two years after this age, I find myself where I never thought I would be, alone and damaged goods. Is this a test? Am I supposed to learn something from all of this, maybe so. Whatever it is, I hope I am wise and mature enough to learn it and move on instead of having to go through this over and over again. I find it funny sometimes when I think about it, but the definition of insanity is "doing the same action over and over again and expecting a different result". So by definition, I am insane. I've been going through the last 6 years, doing the same things over and over again, not learning the lessons that were there and having to repeat them over and over again, doing the same thing and expecting a different result. Well, at least I can admit I'm insane and you always here that admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery. :)